Worry Bug

So we moved back to SoCal and are getting settled in fine. The garage is a mess and stresses me out. This house is a bit smaller so not all my decorative knickknacks can be displayed the way I'd like them to be.

Lately my anxiety has been in full force because I am trying to get the house in complete order but the projects are piling up and throw Christmas on top of it all, and well, you have all the ingredients you need for an anxious mom.

Now my anxiety has focused itself on my youngest, my 4 year old son. While we were visiting my in-laws, my mother-in-law was playfully teasing him over his pronunciation of his words that start with the letter L. He pronounces them with the W sound.

The teasing was all it took to send me on a mommy " is he going to need speech therapy " anxiety spiral. I'm totally freaking out and now annoying my son with my constant request for him to repeat all the words I can think of that start with the letter L.

My husband tells me he's fine and maybe he will need speech therapy. I should remember that there are parents who's children are fighting for their lives. If this is the worse we have to deal with we should take THIS issue happily and gratefully.

I WANT ONE!!!

My new obsessions in life are Pugs. Look at this gloriously adorable and funny face. I simply adore Pugs, they are so sweet and funny and I'm so desperate to have one. I think my hubby is open to me getting a Pug but I don't want to get one until August/September of next year. Keep your fingers crossed that sometime next year I introduce you to my little butterball Pug named ...

Just A Dream

I had the most beautiful and amazing dream last night. I dreamed I was pregnant and I was expect a girl!! A GIRL!! I woke with tears in my eyes because I desperately wanted it to be true with every fiber of my being. I LOVE my boys but have always dreamed of having a little girl. Not to dress up like a doll but to experience the special relationship mothers and daughters have.

Of course in the dream my husband was NOT happy with hearing the news I was expecting again. Honestly he never has been, I've never experienced that moment with my husband when you are BOTH excited about expanding your family. He's the only source of income, the numbers man so he looks at things from a financial point of view. The numbers adding up on the spreadsheet point of view God bless him.

Me I see events in our life as the oh this should be interesting I wonder how things will work themselves out point of view. It's why my hubby and I make sense he makes up what I lack and vice versa.

Anyway it was a beautiful dream.

Boxes Boxes and More Boxes

Here I go again packing our life away getting ready for our big move back to So Cal, feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of beige boxes! I am starting to get excited about our move as I receive occasional pictures of the home we are moving into and all the improvements being made. We will miss this fabulous neighborhood and all of our amazing neighbors.

Our family will especially miss our neighbors and dear friends the Wilson's.I must admit their friendship has been the best part of our Washington experience. I'm in awe of my friend Danielle and aspire to be a mom like her.I swear I have yet to hear her say "I don't know how to do/make that." She's my definition of a TRUE stay at home mom. I feel like a lazy fraud next to her but I'm happy to say she's rubbing off on me.

Our kids have become great friends and will miss each other very much but I know that our friendship with the Wilson's will not end when the moving vans roll away.We hope to spend as much time with them as we can before we go,if we can see them at all over all these darn boxes!!

My Happy Place

I have been so happy these last few days. My hubby has been home and I've gotten to cuddle with him on the couch. Hold his hand in the car. Talk for hours about everything and nothing. Kiss him good morning and good night. Watch him play with our boys and take care of their every need and want.

He is my best friend and he brings me such peace. When he's home I am upset about nothing and laugh at everything. When I'm with him everything is beautiful and right with the world.

He is my best friend, my blessing.

24 Days and Counting

It's been raining here everyday for the past 2 weeks and I love it!! Every once in awhile the suns brilliant face breaks through the gray omanis clouds electrifying all the brilliant colors of fall.

I love the rain, it makes me smile. I'm enjoying it while I can you see this is my last month here in Washington. At the end of this month we are relocating back to our forever summer town of Temecula.

I wish things could have worked out differently for us here but back to SoCal we go. Back to our family, our church, our roots. Everything happens for a reason and we leave Washington with a smile and a heart full of memories.

Is it Possible...Could It Be?

The air is crisp and the leaves are gradualIy starting to change their color from brilliant green to intense orange, plums, and reds. I think fall has arrived here in Washington. This is my favorite time of year. I love the colors of the season the closeness you feel toward your family as the holidays approach.

This time of year is also so special to me because my 2 of my babies were born in the fall. I am so excited to experience fall in Washington. In our former town in SoCal it is 83* and temperature there won't change until maybe November.

I am so excited to experience the seasons here in Washington. Happy Fall everyone!!

20 years

Yesterday marked the 20 year anniversary of my mother's passing. In the past this day has caused me to fall into a depression. The enormity of her absence in my life and failure to have her in the most precious of life's moments and memories is devastating to my spirit.

This year I choose not to remember the time and memories lost but to focus on all the memories with her I did have.

I remembered the way she and my father used to dance at weddings. The way she decorated our house at Christmas.

How every Friday she made a special dinner for our family and we all gathered around her dinner table to laugh and enjoy our family.

Her pink curlers in her hair and the smell of nail polish. Her love of roses and hummingbirds, elephants, and owls.

I miss my mom everyday. I think of my mom everyday, and even though she has been out of my life longer than she was in it. 20 years does nothing to ease the pain.

Motherhood Does It Ever Get Easier?

That's a question asked by mothers everyday all around the world maybe since the dawn of time. Today I found myself asking THAT question.

I am at a loss, sinking quickly in an abyss of frustration and despair over my oldest sons lack of effort in school. I have tried EVERYTHING to inspire ambition, concentration, and success.

My son is a brilliant boy. His level of intelligence and vast vocabulary often even shocks me. However his school work does not reflect that. In fact often times it reflects the opposite. His teacher is well aware that my son is "gifted" child but that does not change the fact that proof of knowledge has to be shown.

My son does not suffer from a medical condition that makes it difficult for him to concentrate or follow directions. He does however suffer from boredom. And to alleviate his boredom in class he reads whatever interests him most at the time.

This has been an issue that has plagued us and we have suffered with for years. Today was my limit. Today was the day that I raised the white flag of surrender.

This issue has taken so much of my attention that I feel I have neglected my other school age sons education. I am so completely focused on my oldest that his younger brother has been left to work completely independent from me. I am so blessed that he has no struggles or issues in school.

I have tried EVERYTHING to guide my oldest away from taking the difficult path that he is determined to take and I have to allow him to learn from his own mistakes.

I can no longer coddle him. I have to give my attention to his younger brother and hope he will get his act together.

It is in these moments of motherhood, of parenthood, that my husband and I give thanks to God that this is our big family issue.

LAST TO KNOW!!

How was it NEVER brought to my attention that Blogger had an official app for iPhone?!?!?

This is the kind of news that can change a persons life drastically!! Well my life drastically. I am on cloud 9 over this news. I needed this kind of simple pleasure in my life.

Things have been a little difficult but I'm trying to stay positive and throw myself into the things that give me great pleasure and distraction. Like reading my $1.99 Good Will find, a paperback copy of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.

Or making book wreaths for neighbors. Watching French Food at Home on the Cooking Channel. My darling hubby just recently bought me a new book to read once I finish Pride and Prejudice, about who other than Marie Antoinette.

My hubby is so sweet and absolutely my greatest blessing. Next to the new Blogger app of course. *wink*wink*

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!

Time for school to start again and you know what that means... Mornings filled with madness and vanilla coffee, sleepy children and misplaced homework. My boys shouting "Mom I can't find my shoe!" and "Did you sign my permission slip?... It's due today!"

I am so excited for the madness to begin. Honestly it makes me feel like a mom; if that makes sense. Last night while laying in bed with the hubby reflecting on our day my heart began to mourn a little. My babies are babies no more. Not even just a little. I have 3 big boys and it's hard to accept.

It's hard to accept there will be no more baby bottles or high chairs. No more soothies or Johnson & Johnson lavender baby shampoo. No one to rock in my arms and drool all over my shirt. No baby wipes or diapers to carry around. It brings tears to my eyes to think that season of my life is over. A season I thought would bloom just once more.

But choices were made and decisions had to be accepted. When 2 people have totally different views on what the next chapter of family life should be... well someone has to put their wants aside.

So now I have 3 big boys who are growing up too fast for my poor heart to handle.

Busy Bee

I have been such a busy bee these past few weeks. I have been busy repurposing and rehabbing my Good Will treasures. Touring Washington and all it's beauty and amazing sites. Enjoying my children and their summer vacation while being tortured by it.

We are feeling more comfortable in our little town nestled at the edge of the woods and it's even starting to have an "I'm home" feel. We unfortunately are having a difficult time finding a home church.

We found a temporary church but with each service, I like it less. I miss my church in SoCal tremendously. I hope we can find a church here that can give us the peace and inspiration that RCC did.

I also hope that I can find the time to do the laundry as well as fold it. Drink some sweet tea and craft a book wreath AFTER I read the 7 books my girlfriend Kristie gave me. You know you have an amazing and real friend when she gives you bags of books!

I wish you all a memorable summer!

I DID IT!!!

Okay so yesterday Kristie came over and we ventured out in the "rain" to my second newest addiction and favorite store here in Washington, The Dollar Store!!

(The Dollar Store is my second newest addiction and favorite store because my first newest addiction and favorite store is The Good Will Store,)

Anyway, Kristie needed some supplies to make more of her shabby chic book wreath creations. So we went to The Dollar Store. Also Kristie had said she would teach me how to create my very own book wreath so I needed to buy my own supplies.

The day prior I had stopped by The Good Will Store to see for myself what all the buzz was about. Well let me tell you the buzz was spot on!!

The store was clean, the merchandise hot, and the prices mind boggling. I found and purchased 2 Twilight books for $1.99 a piece. You wanna feel like a millionaire? Shop at The Good Will Store.

Anyway, before I get carried away about The Good Will Store, I shared with you that specific information to give you this information.

I made my very own book wreath, from you guessed it, my NON-gently used Twilight books. I made a Twilight book wreath!!

It was fun.
It looks fabulous.
I burned the *B-E-E-P* out of my finger.

I can't wait to go to the store and buy more glue for my glue gun to make another Twilight book wreath.

I DID IT!!! I made a craft all on my own. I did it, and I must say I did it well.

Our Day In Seattle 4

Seattle,the home of the creative spirit.

Our Day In Seattle 3

I simply love it here.

Our Day In Seattle 2

The wall of gum!

Our Day In Seattle

The amazing farmers market of Pike's Place.

The Gift

So last night I received an amazing gift from my girlfriend and dinner guest Kristie. Some of you may already know my dear friend Kristie from my previous blog mentions. She is the creator of the blogspot blog, Cali Girl With A Washington Heart.

Kristie and I go back years, and our families are very close, and on a recent family visit to her home I was admiring a paper wreath that hung above her fireplace mantel. As soon as I saw the wreath I was totally lost in admiration for the darling shabby chic work of art.

Upon noticing me swooning over her wreath Kristie nonchalantly informs me that she had made the paper wreath herself, just for the fun of it, and that she was more than happy to make one for me as well. I couldn't believe my ears, SHE had made these gorgeous paper wreaths that adorned her home and she would make one for ME!!

It was in that moment I understood the sensation of simultaneous euphoria and disbelief that lottery winners experience. Immediately I began envisioning where I would proudly display my new incredibly gorgeous and extremely shabby chic treasure while I smiled and nodded yes to Kristie.

A few days later Kristie and her family come and join us for dinner, and Kristie presents me with my gift. A paper wreath made from the pages of an old discarded dictionary. A perfect choice for a writer wouldn't you agree?!?!

If you are interested in buying a paper wreath from my darling Kristie you can reach her by her blog

www.CaliGirlwithaWashingtonHeart.blogspot.com

What Time Is It?

It has been almost 2 weeks since we have moved to Washington state and my body still hasn't adjusted to the difference in daylight. In Temecula when the clock strikes 8PM it is dark outside. Here in the Black Diamond/ Maple Valley area it is VERY sunny at 8PM and quite a ways from dark.

The locals say in the summertime the sun doesn't set until after 10PM. Making gauging ones time here a little tricky. The outside scenery stays the same giving you no real noticeable progression of time.

The brightness of the morning looks the same as the brightness of the afternoon. Making the day feel longer yet time pass quickly. I hope I get used to this daylight difference soon. I'm tired of being so sleepy.

Garage Sale!!

Today is going to be an exciting day for me. Our entire housing development is having a garage sale. A few neighbors put things out yesterday & I was able to acquire 2 new treasures. A non-motorized push lawn mower for $3 dollars, which I love & a child's well used red rocking chair for $10 dollars.

I can't wait to see what the rest of the neighbors are selling today. My new friend & neighbor Danielle,told me she purchased a gas self propelled lawnmower at last years annual garage sale for $5 dollars. I hope to have her luck today with a gas mower also. It would be a treat for me to have both kinds of mowers but I prefer my non-motorized one. It gave me the most amazing workout ever!!

I hope fate smiles upon me today & I am able to find a neighbor trying to unload some ceramic roosters & or chickens, be forewarned you will never hear the end of it if I do. Oh do I dare to dream that I could be so lucky as to find some ceramic rooster & chickens being displayed along with every other used & broken trinket. Just sitting there on folding tables waiting for me to discover their beauty. As a bitter husband with better things to do sits on a lawn chair in the driveway begging me to take these items so he can go back inside.

Do I dream it... Do I dream it... Yes I do... I most certainly do!!
I will post pictures & gloat later. Until then I wish you a happy & glorious weekend.

Sleepless In Seattle

I can't sleep.
I'm really tired.
My body & my mind are not on the same page.
I really want new curtains for the family room.
I really wish my hubby would help me hang the curtains I have,
This weekend is our anniversary.
We will have been married 13 years.
Or is it 12?
I have the perfect gift for him.
I'm pretty sure he's gonna buy it himself & screw me outta a gift.
It was a really awesome gift.
Why does he always do that?
He is so difficult to shop for.
I hope he gets me a puppy!
That would be so romantic.
An iPhone 3GS and/or iPhone 4 that would be romantic also.
An iPad would be equally as romantic.
A girl can dream can't she?
Well except for me, cause I can't sleep.

Let It Go!

So I love Washington state, I think we can all agree I have established that fact. Now I hope to discover that I equally love the medical professionals practicing in the state. I need to find a doctor so I can regain control of my O.C.D.

I am not accustom to my children playing around the neighborhood with groups of children riding thier bikes without constant supervision. Or walking 2 & 1/2 blocks up the road to the school bus stop.

I am battling my anxitey internally & losing the battle. I don't want to raise my children to be fearful just aware. So the cycle of controlling my surroundings because I can't control life begins.

On a scale of 1-10 I am about a 3. I know it's me struggling with accepting my boys are growing up. Sometimes I just need a little help letting go. Since we are so new to the area I haven't found a home church yet.

My heart is still very much in Temecula at Rancho Community Church with our amazing pastors & worship team.

I miss my church & carne asada nachos that being said I sure do love Washington!

I Don't Hate It Yet *wink*wink*

Well it is 70* & very sunny here in Washington. We have experienced some rain, off & on but nothing serious. It's been more of a mist & sometimes even a light sprinkle but nothing to severe...yet.

The locals here LOVE to tell us that once we experiance a winter here we won't like Washington as much as we do now. It's as if they are desperate for us to reply to their "How you liking Washington so far?" question with, "We hate it!! My children & I are miserable!!"

They don't like to hear that we love the city we live in or that we have wanted to relocate our family to Washington state for a little over 2 years now. That our neighbors are amazing & that my kids are attending schools we have always wanted them to have the opportunity to attend.

I'm excited about my life & eager to explore Washington with my family. Maybe in a few months I'll post how much I hate it here. *wink*wink*

Impossible Dreams

It has been months since I've been able to blog. I have so much to tell you I don't know where to start. First today is my sister Elba's birthday which is always cause for a big celebration of love, laughter, & red velvet cake! However this birthday brings me a touch of sadness because I won't be able to celebrate her day with her.

We have recently relocated to WASHINGTON STATE!!! Our dream of raising our family in Washington has come true with the help & glory of God. It is everything we hoped for & more.

Our boys are so happy here & the house & neighborhood we moved into is absolutely amazing!! Best of all my sister is relocating here as well!! She will be arriving next month. Life is amazing for my family right now. It feels like an impossible dream has come true. I hope you are all doing well my friends & I will be writing of my adventures here soon.

No Luck

So I've had no luck lately finding decorative rooster & chickens for my kitchen. Apparently people don't like to have yard sales in the rain, who knew? I thought it would be easy to find these freak'n birds in retail stores since I had seen them EVERYWHERE before I decided to use them in my home decor! I checked Michael's, Target,Wal-Mart, and nothing. Went to Home Goods Store & they had some rooster stuff but in crazy funky peacock colors. Not gonna work in my house.

This is the second time I've tried to incorporate birds into my home design. I am still on the hunt for my bird shaped soaps. I know I can find all kinds of goodies online but I have a very strong bargain hunting drive with a serious case of immediate satisfaction.

I just love the yard sale finds the best. The idea that the item I purchased had been loved, admired,search for, and displayed by it's previous owner, makes it feel that much more special to me. More of a discovered treasure in my home to proudly display. I mean don't get me wrong I love the retail discoveries too. Whenever I find an item in a discount retail store I find my ego hard to contain. I give a loud and triumphant "YES!!" and immediately want to hold that item above my head in victory and parade my prize around the store.

I hope I'm not alone in this feeling of accomplishment in finding the perfect decorative item. After all wise people always seem to say it's the little things in life that gives you the most pleasure. Roosters & chickens are going to give me the most pleasure in life right now. If I can find them!!

HERE... CHIC...CHIC..CHIC

I am on the hunt for ceramic chickens & roosters to incorporate to my home design. I want to place them in my kitchen(of course) on top of my cabinets between my vintage Holly Hobbie plates. Wish me luck on my newest yard sales adventures!

LIFE

WOW!!! The last time I blogged was in December?!?! Well lots has gone on since my last post. I am mainly trying to get myself healthy. In the past few months I have become a human pin cushion. My doctors still haven't been able to dial me into the right dosage for my thyroid. In a few more days I go in to have my blood drawn and tested to see how this rounds medication is working or not.

My doctors have also informed me that my hormone levels indicate that I am showing signs of menopause...MENOPAUSE!! What the heck!! I am freak'n 35 years old...really?!? So now I have to go through that wonderful series of invasive testing.

With all of this going on one would think I'd be discouraged but really I feel absolutely blessed. I am happy in my life. I have 3 healthy, beautiful, intelligent boys. A husband who adores me and is truly my best friend & a sister who is my most treasured gift.(She like my hubby gets my crazy.)

I still have my anxiety but it isn't as intense. My O.C.D is also showing signs of change. I still like things clean and in there proper place & I still have upstairs & downstairs socks. So life is good, life is life & in the famous words of Forrest Gump "That's all I have to say 'bout that."