September 30, 2014

Challenges vs. Realizations

Today was a day filled with challenges and as I reflect back on my day, I see how very small these moments of difficulty really were. At the time I allowed them to seem large and overwhelming but in reality they were ordinary and small. I went on my daily run and felt so weighed down, sluggish and slow. In reality I finished my run on time, just a few minutes behind my usual finish. I did feel sluggish but I attributed it to consuming so much bread yesterday after not having any bread for a few weeks. Honestly I don't miss bread...much...but...yesterday I could not resist nor do I regret taking down that pumpkin spice muffin at breakfast like a pride of lions on a carabao!!

It was big and glorious, made even more so by my generous helping of butter. I'd do it again without hesitation because that is how a lioness lives, in the moment not letting opportunity pass her by. Today I also made a stink about my oat bran overflowing when I cooked it. Huffing at having to clean up the mess. I found fault in the inconsistency of the weather. Going from cool impressions of fall to Welcome Back Summer!! Jealous of the residents of the PNW and what they were experiencing today. I complained about everything when it was really nothing. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to even write the things I whined about today and there is so much more. 

I didn't give thanks, give praise for the abundant life I live. Usually when I run it is in meditation and praise but not today and it does not escape me that my day was wrong because I put myself first. I focused on myself, on improving my life and not using my life to improve the lives of others. So today was wasted on me and what I perceived to be problems in my life. Tomorrow I will not make the same mistakes.  

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