October 23, 2014
October 21, 2014
October 20, 2014
October 18, 2014
October 6, 2014
This past Saturday my baby boy turned fifteen years old. He is my first born, my first love, and I can't believe he is now fifteen. How quickly the days of Thomas the Train, Blue's Clues and dinosaurs have faded and turned into days of texting with girls, locked bedroom doors, and only wanting to be with his friends. We've all been there I know but it doesn't make the sting of your child growing up any less painful.
Not only do I have to face the realization of my child growing up way too fast, of time not allowing me to put the hourglass on its side once but I am reminded of it twice! As my ten year old happily informs us all daily that his birthday is also this month. I find comfort only in the words my in laws have shared with me, they may not be small but they will always be your children and they will never stop needing you to be their mommy.
So happy 15th birthday to you Peanut!! You are my favorite part of every day.
October 3, 2014
October 2, 2014
I run because I love the solitude, the way you are completely connected with yourself. You are in the moment, living in the moment. Your head is clear, your heart at peace and the earth is alive and breathing and your breathing with it. You become acutely aware of every color, every sent, every living thing you pass. Suddenly you notice the beauty in the birds chirping and calling to each other from tree to tree. You appreciate the way the colors in the trees blend and change creating a new look everyday. The vibrant color of the grass and how it seems to cool your skin with its freshly dampened soil. Mountains stand glorious and tall, the sky always seems to be the bluest of blues I have ever seen, and every stranger I pass acknowledges me with an encouraging nod or smile.
September 30, 2014
May 20, 2014
So this is my last week on the Cruise Phase of the Dukan diet eating plan and I said that if by Friday I had not reached my goal then I would move on and accept 140lbs as my true weight. I stepped on the scale this morning expecting to see what I've seen this entire past week and BOOM!! 138.8lbs was staring back at me from between my feet.
I stepped on that scale three more times just to see that glorious number again and again. I am now 1.7lbs away from my goal! I am so ecstatic to be in the 30's FINALLY!! Never thought it would happen and just when I had made peace with not ever being in that weight range I hit the mark. I'm excited to see what number will register on Friday.
May 17, 2014
Day 20 of the Dukan diet eating plan and 2 weeks on the Cruise phase of the meal plan. I am fluctuating between 140 & 141 pounds. I am 4 pounds away from my goal weight of 136/137 pounds and I can't break into the 30's.
Today I came in at 141 pounds and I have to admit my determination of meeting my goal took a hit. I honestly had to fight back the tears. My frustration is high and my resolve low. This next week will be my last week on the Cruise phase because I am sure I am losing my grip on the goal. I want to give up, to simply throw my hands up in defeat and dive into a box of glazed donuts.
I have been working so hard for a year and a half. Fighting to rid myself of every obese inch, every obese pound and to think I am so close to this goal yet it continually moves just out of reach is devastating to my spirit.
I have 1 more week on this phase and when the week is up I will accept what my body is capable of even if it is not the vision of success I had for myself.
May 3, 2014
Day 6 and the celebration is in full swing!! I weighed myself today and I weighed 145 pounds!! Also today we introduce vegetables to our diet and they were delicious.
I cannot believe I am down 7pounds since starting the Dukan Diet last Monday. Now that vegetables have been introduced and we have to alternate between pure protein days and protein/vegetables days our weight loss should slow down to 2 pounds per week until we meet our desired weight.
Adding the vegetables really has given us the added push to keep working towards our goal. Can't wait to see how long it takes to reach my true weight, my desired weight.
May 1, 2014
Today has been just a bit of a struggle with the strictly pure protein diet. The protein is sustaining me for much longer before I need to eat again. My hunger has also been very low today but I am very ready to add vegetables to my diet.
Today is the 4th day and it is coming to an end but I'm not sure if I will be able to complete another day. I'm sure I'll push through and complete the last day but right now I want to throw in the towel early and start the Cruise Phase a day early. Also for some reason I weighed in 4oz. heavier.
Was not what I was expecting but hopefully tomorrow will bring me the elusive numbers I have been striving to see for over a year now 145lbs. I am hoping that by the time I am on Stabilization Phase I will be between a svelte 132-128lbs.
Okay well I am feeling better now and am ready for Attack Phase Day 5! I'm going to see it through and complete my goal of 5 days on Attack Phase so I can lose this last 20lbs.
April 30, 2014
Day 3 of the Dukan Diet- Attack Phase is coming to a successful close and I am down 5 lbs. already! This is the lowest I have weighed since starting my fitness journey over a year ago.
I will be on the Attack Phase a total of 5 days and hopefully I will have lost a total of 10 lbs on Attack Phase before I start the Cruise Phase. Sticking to the strictly pure protein diet has not been difficult for me. Mostly because I have already been eating "clean" for quite some time now. I am however looking forward to eating broccoli this Saturday and all my other vegetables I've been avoiding these past few days.
I am very excited to see what my final results will be and what my true weight will be. So far I've experienced no real side effects other than dry mouth. It will be very interesting to see once certain vegetables are introduced to my daily diet which ones I will crave the most and how many vegetables a day I will eat. I'll keep you posted!
April 12, 2014
I am so excited about my increase in stamina and distance with regards to my daily runs. I am a long distance runner and could not beat a snail in a sprint if my life depended on it. When I first began running again a few months back I was only able to run about 2 miles or so. It had been years since I had ran because let's face it running, jogging, even walking at 215lbs. for 2 miles is just not easily done or really even done for that matter.
So after loosing some of my weight that runners call kept getting louder and louder in my heart. I was scared to run my first try, afraid to find out I couldn't do it anymore but I did do it and that first try was all it took to spark the flames of passion for running in me again.
Soon my 2 mile runs became 3.1 mile runs because I had set a goal for myself to run a 5k in 2014. Then after a few weeks I decided to push a little farther and soon my daily run became 5 miles. Well this week I managed to push myself again and after weeks and weeks of running 5 miles a day and managed to go 6 miles.
It was rough and I doubted myself. I thought "oh this is too much go back to 5 miles" but I kept at it and this morning it happened! My body adjusted and accepted the new distance of the run. When I got home I felt amazing! Not exhausted and sore but fantastic. I know come Monday when I push for 6 my body is going to respond with "We got this girl" and that is a satisfaction words can not describe.
April 9, 2014
WOW!! I have not posted on my blog since 2012. Although I'm sure no one has missed me because I'm fairly positive that no one really reads my blog, my absence from my blog was a necessary one.
I needed to focus on myself, to focus on my health. I was in trouble and in danger of cutting my life short. I have Hypothyroidism and I was obese. Now when I say obese I mean obese. Not chubby or pudgy or whatever other cute name you want to use for slightly fat. I was OBESE, FAT, Fatty -Fat -Fat- Pants.
I was weighing in at a very unhealthy 215.lbs which was a lot to ask of my 5'4 frame. I squeezed myself into a very tight size 18 when I really should have been in a size 20/22. I was one of those awesome people who thought no one could see my muffin top through my fitted cotton shirt.
I hated my life, I hated my body, but above all I hated myself for continually deceiving myself into believing there wasn't a problem that needed to be addressed. I convinced myself I was simply genetically unlucky. I wasn't born with the "you look like you haven't had a baby" gene. I at one point or another sold myself on all the lies we try to sell ourselves. The "I'm big and beautiful" lie, the "I want to enjoy my life and eat cake" lie, The "my husband loves me just the way I am" lie.
Now when I say lie, understand I am speaking of people who are unhappy with their weight and instead of doing something about it try and convince themselves of being happy. If you identify yourself as big and beautiful good for you. I am not one of those people I do not have that kind of self-esteem.
So after not being able to believe my own lies anymore I decided to be brave and try to lose weight. I knew I needed help because I knew it was going to be hard but I didn't care. I couldn't live one more day hating myself.
I started my weight loss journey October 2012. To date I have lost 67 lbs. and wearing a size 6 pant. I am not at my goal weight but I am happier and healthier than ever.