July 16, 2009

I Thought You Loved Me What A Bunch Of Bologna!!

My dearest sister Elba who in previous blogs I had mentioned I regarded as my best friend is doing my family and myself a huge favor by pet sitting our beloved chihuahua Walter while we are out of town. Being the loving and generously devoted sister that I am I phoned Elba yesterday to ask her if there was anything in particular that she wanted me to have for her in the house with regards to food to make her stay more enjoyable, and without warning or being provoked in any way she raised her dagger and plunged it deep into the pit of my stomach. She asked me to buy her some Bologna!! GASP!! The horror, the pain, a reckless betrayal from one sister to another!!! WHY ?ELBA WHY?!? BOLOGNA!!

I was instantly enraged and reminded my sweet darling sister of my intense disdain for this so called meat product.

"Elba you know how I feel about Bologna and that I don't allow it in my house or the presence of my children" I scolded.

This betrayal cut me so deeply because she knows that these feelings stem from childhood. I mean I trust her to care for my children for God's sake!! My world has been turned upside down, I feel so alone. As you might have guessed I don't particularly like Bologna, my mother used to make it for me everyday as my school lunch. While the other "loved" children either bought their lunch or enjoyed their PB&J's with their juice bags,chocolate chip cookies, and pudding that their mothers so lovingly prepared for them I had to suffer through a hot Bologna sandwich with imitation cheese on white wonder bread. Every bite sticking to the roof of my mouth. I remember having to use my fingers to scrape it off the roof of my mouth and with every bite I endured my anger and frustration would grow.

Bologna,Bologna, I hate Bologna!! I just hope that my relationship with my sister isn't irrevocably broken and that she enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. Read it or not this is my life and Bologna has the power to set me off.


  1. OMG I am this way with bananas. If I smell a banana I can become so nauseus that I cannot eat the rest of the day. The sight of them makes me super anxious...I had everyone at my old office 'trained' to never eat bananas at the office or in the lunch room lol. (Thank god for understanding good co-workers). It comes from my mom cutting them in half (in the peel) and leaving the other half unwrapped in the pantry when we were kids...and the taste/scent permeated the bread, chips, crackers, cereal and everything else in there...and we were expected to eat these items...it made me so sick!! Ugggh! To this day I do not allow bananas in my house or anywhere near me. My mom doesn't understand and gets angry with me when I won't let her bring them in my house or when I have to leave the room at her house, when she peels & eats them (and leaves a cut-half of a banana on the counter till it turns brown!!! OH MY LORD she still does this!!) LOL.

    Ok..sorry for my rant.

  2. hahahaha love it, love it, love it, and what is so funny is my sister Elba is the same way, bananas gross her out!!! you can't eat or have bananas around her at all!! your comment was so funny thanks for sharing.