August 5, 2009

Only 12 Days Left!!

Only 12 days left and then it will be the first day of school!! Oh what a wonderful summer I have had with my boys I don't want summer to end. I don't want to send them back to school! Unlike some mothers that I have spoken with I was not sick of my children on the second day of summer vacation. I have enjoyed spending time with my children because I have really great kids and I don't care if it is considered rude or inappropriate I am definitely bragging!! I am sad for me but excited for my 2 big boys because they are so excited to be going back to school. My oldest son can hardly contain his excitement about being in 4th grade and having recess and lunch with ONLY the big kids!! My sweetheart, blue eyes himself is excited to be going into 1st grade,buying lunch, and having class go all day.
Where has the time gone? My 2 big boys are going to be away from home all day!! I must say I am looking forward to having special alone time with my baby. It will just be he and I for a short while this year but as soon as he turns 3 years old, like my other boys I'm sure he will forget all about mommy and be daddy's best buddy. My husband is counting down the days until his 3rd birthday. I think this school year my child abduction anxiety/obsession will not be so severe or difficult for me to deal with because I plan on walking my boys across the street and waiting until the bell rings. At least that is my plan my big boys might think that it's too lame for me to walk them beyond the gate.

As I sit here and write about what will be happening in the upcoming weeks my anxiety is rising and my palms are getting sweaty. I just want my babies to be happy and safe. I need them to be happy or I perceive myself to have failed as a mother. Oh jeez I am having a mini panic attack; as if a panic attack can even be mini!! Anyway my babies are growing up and I am finding that I am not prepared to let them go and I am not prepared to have to occupy my own time. So with that yesterday I went to my local craft store and bought a paint by number set. I have gone to my local library and gotten myself a library card and of course I will continue to blog my about OCD experiences.I hope everyone has enjoyed their summer and thank you all for your comments of support. I think of you all as my friends.


Kika Jones

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