The resentment stems from my interpretations of his actions and lack their of, such as helping me with the kids or the little things like helping around the house but these little things are now perceived by me to be huge acts of uncaring inconsideration.
Example: He does not open the car door for me. What a small and timeless gesture to show someone you love how highly you think of them, and well I must say it is the polite thing to do. His father opens his wife's car door and pulls out her chair because she, my mother~in~law is that girl to my father~in~law. His ex my husbands mother says "He never did that for me" and I am afraid that I am not that girl to my husband.
It is my opinion that for his friends he will do anything and everything to help them when they call on him. For me it seems schedules and meetings cannot be changed.
I rarely am given the chance or thought of when it comes to sleeping in. I ALWAYS get up with the kids even if I am equally tired I am the one to get up.
Or washing/rinsing his dishes when he has just witnessed me wash them or place them in the dishwasher. He will just leave his dish in the sink!!
My list goes on and on but as resentful as I am toward him I am even more resentful of myself. I never say a word because I don't want to have conflict with my husband. I just marinate in my bitterness and in a few days I go back to being my kooky self. I will say this about my husband and my relationship we have a very traditional marriage. He brings home the bacon and I fry it in the pan!! He is such a success at work because he knows the home front is being taken care of. I just want to be his special girl, after all he chose me to be his wife out of all the girls he wanted me the most.
When I wake up in the morning the first thing I think of is how am I going to make him happy today? What can I do to make his day easier? My mother once told me that if a woman wants to be happy in her marriage that she should marry a man who loves her more than she loves him. I understood her point then and tried to follow her advice but in the end the heart wants what the heart wants.
Perhaps I am just petty and ungrateful for all that I have?