October 20, 2010


So last night I had a difficult time sleeping and ended up having a small panic attack. My hubby and I had stayed up late to watch a movie and moments after we turned out the lights in the quiet of the darkness I started panicking about the safety of my children.

I told my hubby what was going on and he was able to calm and sooth me to sleep but my sleep was not restful. I knew the reason for the panic attack was due to our recent plans. Plans of change for our family and household. Plans to improve our life but still these plans mean changes ahead. So with that this morning I had another small attack and did the only thing I knew to control the attacks. I started to straighten and clean the entire house.

I can't control life but I can control my environment, and so I washed the dishes, clothes, the dog and the baby. I vacuumed, dust and polished anything I could get my hands on. I could tell my dog didn't like being a source of relief for my O.C.D but I figure it was alright because in the 5 years we have had him, Walter has never been bathed in the backyard by the hose. He is spoiled and lives like a king, sometimes a queen. *wink*wink* Seriously it is not appropriate for an indoor dog to smell like Frito's and worn gym socks.

I am feeling a little better now but the condition of the floors are bothering me. I can honestly say my anxiety and O.C.D side affects are few and far between since my hubby and I have improved our relationship and understand completely who we are in each others lives.


  1. I really feel for you... My fiance has OCD and he always need reassurance or a plan of attack. He cannot rest when he cannot predict the unknown, and often goes into organizational mode. I let him go full tilt when he has these moments. It's about being happy, and if this make him feel more at ease, who am I to complain. Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog yesterday!!


  2. Good to see you back here old friend. Hope you are doing okay and things are better?
    I've been so busy since I started working again...been trying to get caught up with blogging/reading blogs and catching up with friends. Good to see you here and writing again.

    Totally identify with those sleepless moments, and cleaning frenzies. It's like a sense or feeling of control amongst chaos...