April 19, 2009
I did not sleep well last night. Let me rephrase that, I did not sleep at all last night. I was awake at 4 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. I listened to the usual noises a house makes and listened for the sound of possible danger. My husband and I slept with our bedroom doors open and some of our upstairs windows as well. It was such a warm day and the cool night air felt so good but this change in our routine did not sit very well with me. I had to sleep facing the door just in case danger approached. I tried to sleep with my back to the door because that was physically more comfortable for me but I kept waking up in a panic that there was someone standing over me, watching me. So I just laid in bed listening to the night, listening for danger, and watching the time pass by.
I wanted to get up out of bed and go downstairs to straighten up but I knew that there was nothing to straighten up because I had done it all before coming to bed. I can not sleep if the dinner dishes are not washed, the kitchen counters have not been wiped down and everything isn't put away nice and neat. This is also true of the upstairs and my kids playroom. Before I can go to bed I must pick up my boys playroom. All their toys must be put in their proper place, the remotes set nicely on the table for them. The playroom must look perfect and neat for them in the morning, so they can play with all their toys and have lots of fun.
So I find myself straightening what is already straight, cleaning what is already clean. I like the way my house looks though, all the beds are made the kitchen is clean and all the laundry has been folded and put away all by 8:30 in the morning. I think today I will empty the bathroom trash again even though I emptied it yesterday. Maybe I will find a piece of trash but I probably won't. That's okay I'm sure my boys will give me lots to clean later in the day.