April 22, 2009

That Time of the Month

I'm talking about my husband going out of town for the next few days!! My anxiety is rising with waves of panic attacks coming over me. So here I am at 8:15 in the morning trying to control what is out of control by planning my whole day so that I don't feel absents. What to make for dinner, what to feed the kids for lunch, will we go to the store or won't we. The very thought of making these kinds of decisions without his input is making me nauseous.

So today I will put on my makeup, straighten my hair, polish the furniture, tidy the house, and as always be consumed by the need for things to look perfect just the way it does when he is home. Now let me say this about my husband, he thinks I clean the house to much and would like for me to just relax. He would love it if I would clean the house just once a week as I'm sure most husbands would be.

My husband like most works very hard and his hard work gives us a very comfortable lifestyle. When he comes home I want him to be able to just take off his shoes and relax. To come home and just let out a sigh of relief. Not come home to a mess and then have to help me clean. I love him very much and cleaning is how I show him how much I love and appreciate him.

So for the next few days I expect I will watch romantic movies and have sleepless nights. Clean the house and primp myself, I will try not to eat all the Easter candy at once or for dinner. I will call my sister a thousand times a day and follow that up with constant self doubt and indecision because it is that time of the month.

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